Dear Journal
by MissMandaDiesel
Summary: When life gets too much, write it down in a journal.  A collection of Journal entries from a few of my OCs but mostly wrestlers.  Contains plenty of Slash. This will feature: Kaz/OC, Daniels/OC, Storm/Roode, Crimson/OC, Hawkins/OC and many more.
1. What's Eating Caleb

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real. **

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense. **

Dear Journal,

This is the first time I'm doing something of these sorts, writing in a log about my day. I actually first was given the idea when I was forced into Rehab by my older brother Robert. I generally love him, he's my rock, I usually turn to him when I need guidance the most. I have just one issue with him sometimes, his boyfriend, James.

James Storm, long-time friend, someone I respect more than anything… when he isn't trying to pile drinks on me. Today was one of those days, where I got drinks just kept getting piled on. I was hesitant at first about it, telling him, "no, no its okay I don't need any", but I found denying a drink from Storm is a big no-no.

"Oh come on Caleb," He told me, "Just one drink, it ain't gonna kill you!"

No, it didn't kill me, but it just wasn't one drink. You see I work with the KnockOuts in TNA, those crazy bitches. I adore them, they are all sweethearts, until they want something and don't get it. Unfortunately for me, I had experienced that early in the day, when it came to Velvet. I adore Velvet I think she's a sweet precious girl, with her priorities way completely out of whack. Lately she's been into getting involved with peoples personal relationships and having that get in the way of her work. Management caught wind of it and took her off the UK tour… bad move. Fans and her were both upset with this move and I got emails and angry calls from the princess herself. I informed her that getting her on the tour was going to cost her…

"Okay, Okay, I don't care just get me on that tour," she had hollered at me one day, literally she hollered it at me. I always thought the whole "Holler" deal was just all gimmick and not something she'd actually do, but I was wrong. I suppose she's got pigeons stashed somewhere to let loose one day. Anyways back to what I was going at before…

The day started with Velvet once again in my face, hollering at me about how she didn't like the signings she was booked for with James. Here's a secret about Velvet she doesn't like doing signings unless Chris Sabin is around, or a fellow KO. It's always been that way, if you asked me why I wouldn't be able to provide you with that answer. Something I learned long ago, stay out of the personal lives.

Not too long after that encounter with Velvet, I had an ever lovely encounter with my older brother Robert's boyfriend. With the same issue, he didn't want to go do that signing with Velvet. He'd take anyone else over her, amazingly I managed to distract him for a bit with my issues with my own lover. Told him about how I was considering ending things for his protection. I got hit over the head a few times for that suggestion but hey, he got off my back about Velvet.

Now here I am, drunk as a skunk because I foolishly offered up lunch for the both of us. While I generally eat food for Lunch, Storm on the other hand prefers drinking his lunch. I did discover the meaning of liquid lunch this afternoon, or rather I had to reacquaint myself with the term. It's a dangerous game that I am played by actually allowing James to pile drink after drink on me. Long ago, I had a nasty alcohol and medication problem, where I depended on both to keep me going. I hated life, all I had was my brother but I still felt alone. My only company was my work, but because I had to sleep I took pill after pill to help me sleep.

Robert, my darling brother, had found my in hotel room, seemingly asleep but when I didn't respond to him I woke up in a hospital. The rage on his face scared me more than anything and the people around me looking at me with such judgment on their faces made me realize who exactly I was letting down. I allowed Robert to put me in a rehab facility. It was a secret between us, I couldn't allow anyone to know where I had suddenly disappeared to. I demanded that he tell everyone that I had gone back to Canada to be with our family.

"I'm Caleb Roode, Robert! I can't have people thinking I'm some pill popping mess," I yelled at him, he looked at me and shook his head. He never understood the pride that I always had, he always reminded me that it was him that really mattered, it was never about me. Although he always did look at me and told me that he admired my confidence in who I am. My bother always had a hard time with that, took him a while to let that persona show when it came time for show time. Before this storyline he is in now, he came to me for help, with the request that I help him be a pompous asshole. I'm not a pompous asshole. Well not any more…

With help of my darling Frankie, I'm not one anymore. Speaking of Frankie, he can't know that I have this. I'm looking at the time now, and he's due back soon. I have to put on my best act of being drunk. There I go again. Always acting.

Good night Journal. Until next time. 12 January 2012.

_**A/N: I've decided that the next chapter is gonna be an overview of my OC's since I doubt most people know who they are. Watch out for it. Thanks guys. Please don't forget about that ever important Read and Review. MissMandaDiesel =) **_


	2. Some Stars of the Story

**Disclaimer: ****This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**In this chapter you will have an overview of my OCs. Most people don't know who they are and I don't want to confuse anyone on who they are. **

**Caleb Roode: **He's the 32 year old younger brother to Robert Roode, he's a recovering Alcoholic/Drug Addict. Born on July 30, 1979, he has always had issues with people comparing her to her older brother, he's always lost between an actual hatred of his brother or if he really love his brother. Their relationship isn't the most stable of relationships but it is the one relationship that is far most important to him. Currently he works with TNA as an agent. He is currently in a relationship with Frankie Kazarian after a long unsuccessful relationship with Angelina Love. He loves Frankie but he has slight lingering feelings for his ex. Portrayed by: Matthew Bomer

**Cody Reso: ** The 22 year old younger sibling to Jason Reso, Christian. She's the recently tamed wild child of the family, seeing that she is finally settling down into a family of her own. Although she works for the WWE, she is currently wed to TNA superstar Crimson. With the WWE she works as photographer, exclusively the photographer for many of the online features that they have. Born on December 29, 1989 it was easy for most to confuse her as the daughter of Christian. Her older brother and his boyfriend were always the crazy overprotective types. Oh did I happen to mention that she is currently expecting her first child? Portrayed by Jewel Staite.

**Joey LoMonaco: **He is the 24 year old son to Mark LoMonaco, aka Bully Ray. Born on March 1, 1987, he's always known one simple fact, he and his father just don't get along very well. With her mother dying in childbirth he and his father were given no other option but to live with him. Being the offspring of a man who didn't know what a condom was in his teenage years, he would had to have been blind to not see how his father felt about him. Joey is an aspiring musician, but has be regulated to working in the music department in TNA, creating themes and picking the music for a lot of their upcoming events. The feeling of him getting in his father's career path has slowly morphed into a disdain for the fact that he isn't following in his footsteps. Portrayed by Howie Day.


	3. Cody doesn't cook

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Dear Diary,

Blah, really did I write that? Why the hell did Tommy and Jay think this shit was a good idea? I guess it's their way of coddling me and making sure I don't get too stressed out about too much. I honestly shouldn't have mentioned anything about being pregnant before. If I had just kept that too myself I wouldn't be stuck writing this. Anyways, I shall call this the log of a pouty pregnant girl.

Now on to what I need to get off my chest: Lazy butt is a lazy butt. So much so that I find myself staring at the mess I turn the kitchen into every time I attempt cooking. I go into the room, whining to him that I'm hungry and all he does is roll over look at me and then points at the kitchen. What a jerk move to do, but unfortunately I adore the man, he's the best thing that has happened to me.

I met Tommy when I was visiting a couple of old friends that I made while big brother was apart of TNA, and those that I knew from their days with WWE. He courted me in the cutest way ever, he went out of his way to get my number and we talked from there. I never believed that someone could fall in love with me the way he did, but he proved me wrong….

Although I'm getting off topic, I'm mad at him because I burned my hand and made a giant mess cooking. I guess I am seeing why he doesn't want me to be alone while he's overseas. I wonder if he's gotten a hold of Jeff or Karen yet about me staying with them. I told him I'm not staying with anyone who doesn't know how to deal with a pregnant girl. I'd honestly prefer going with him, because I love Europe, but he's very cautious and I guess I can understand how cautious he is.

Crap I hear him in the other room, Lazy butt sounds like he's finally waking up. I got a giant mess to clean up, and I got a lot of crying to do about how I haven't eaten anything yet. That's my sure fire way of getting him to cook for me.

Cody Reso (Mercer) – 1/14/2012


	4. Joey: It's Good to be Bad

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

January 14, 2012

My deviousness scares me sometimes. Oh who the fuck am I kidding, I love how fucking devious I can be. I enjoy twisting terrible things into things that tip into my favor some times. So from what I thought was going to be a horrible day with my girlfriend Dani, it went very well. I mean I wouldn't be Joey fucking LoMonaco if I couldn't. This day ultimately started out like shit, since I woke up with some major time guilt over what I had come home to last night.

I was having the night of my life last night, I got a chance of a lifetime to perform in a nightclub that I had been dying to get into. I mean I sent these guys demo after demo just so I could play in the club, and lucky fucking me I got in. It was so awesome performing in front of all those people, okay yea it was a small crowd since that is all the club would allow, but it was still a nice sized crowd nothing I would have expected. Now that was the nice surprise that I wasn't expecting last night, now lets get to the oh my god what the fucking hell surprise. So I get home, tired as all fuck and slightly drunk because you know how it works sometimes as a musician you get paid in fucking booze. I had the sweet taste of success on my lips and all I wanted to do was call my Dani Baby, I may have been drunk but nothing gets me sleeping like hearing her sweet voice cooing in my ear. With my baby on my mind I walk through my bedroom door and there she is, my ex, Brooke Adams laying in my bed… in her underwear. The sight of her like that was a shock to say the least, I stared for a moment a moment longer than I really would have liked.

After I regained my composure I told her to get out, no actually I yelled at her: "GET YOUR SKANKY ASS OUT OF MY BED NOW!" I remember the last time I called someone a skank I regretted it, it was the day I found out Dani cheated on me. Told her to get the fuck out of my life and I didn't want to see her skanky ass again. Funny how some shit works out right? Anyways on to the point… my deviousness.

I had Dani come over after my father left this morning for some plotting with her… I don't know, and in all honesty I could care less. My mission today was find out why Dani was keeping things from me, once that happened. Guilt hit, I don't know why it hit, I didn't do anything wrong… but it all came pouring out. Dani didn't take it well, she almost left me again, I think she almost left me and there was no way I was gonna let that happen.

Telling Dani exactly everything and everything I felt, it was weird doing that. I don't do that I usually put everything into a song for her, but I told her. In the midst of telling her all of this, I get an idea. An idea I wouldn't want happening to me, but this bitch deserved it. I called her, and took my gorgeous Dani to bed. Well not bed, more like the living room couch. We made love there until the moment my father came home, almost raging….

I'm like my father sometimes I just have no shame whatsoever, so there were me and Dani sitting in the living room: No Clothes, No Bedsheets, nothing… as my father barges in the house.

Basically today I got kicked out by dear old pops, told me if I was gonna be with my whore, it wasn't gonna be under his roof. Funny how he wants me with some stupid bitch that will stay on a line for almost 2 hours listening to me yelling Dani's name out in ecstasy. I guess Dani's just way too smart for him, he can't get his turn too.

I got my freedom finally and it feels so good.. especially since I get to enjoy it with the hottest chick on the block.

I'm Joseph Andrew LoMonaco, a free man and damn it … it feels good.

**A/N: This is my first time really writing for Joey in a fic, I hope you guys will like him. Facts about Joey that I didn't mention: Joey used to date Brooke Adams. **


	5. Bo looking back and foward

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Dear Journal,

From the day I was born, I've always said that I might be simple but I ain't dumb. Well I thought wasn't dumb, I just took actions that weren't exactly the brightest for the moment. In all my 21 years on this earth, I never once thought that I'd have my family that I have now. I never once imagined that ever get the girl that I have now. I also never really imagined that I'd be taking the same career path as my father. In one day it's gonna be the one month anniversary of me proposing to my beautiful girl, Haylee.

We didn't exactly have the makings of a story book romance from the very beginning, there was a lot of damage done to the girl before I came into the picture. How I got her to trust me and want to be with me, is a wonder to me to say the least. All I know is that from the very moment I saw her I was smitten and I instantly saw everything that I have with her now. I just didn't imagine any of the drama that came with being with her.

The moment I laid my eyes on her all I saw was what any 20 year old guy would see, she was beautiful. A girl I could show off to the world, I didn't see the damage and I didn't see the big guy that would intimidate the toughest of guys. She'd come to show after show, and each show she came to I felt eyes upon me that didn't make me feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately those visits from her stopped, I'd find myself looking around for a girl that would never come around. From thinking that I finally found the girl I've wanted my entire life, to missing a girl that I never got the chance to talk to. Seth, one of my good friends, took me out in an effort to make me forget all about her.

Those efforts didn't work out, during each night out, she was on my mind, I longed for her to come back. I continued to look around for a girl that wasn't gonna show. That was until one night, in a show that took place outdoors. The sky opened up and it rained, rained like in the days of my childhood, memories of how I had wrestling matches with my brother out in the rain. Then it happened, I finally heard from her, she made fun of me.

Me being the boy that I am, I didn't care she could make fun of me all she wants, just as long as she spoke to me I didn't care. In the end I set her straight and told her the joys of doing things in the rain. She didn't believe what I had to say, so I did what I never do, I told to come on over and I'd show her. I knew the girl had a guy, girls like that always have guys, I half expected her to laugh and tell me no. Although when she didn't and the next thing she said was "I'd love to," my heart soared! I was on cloud nine the girl I longed for, said she was gonna come over and play with me in the rain. The night was supposed to be innocent, we were gonna have fun, I was determined to have fun with her. In the end we danced through the night in the rain, til the point we came inside. She told me about her boyfriend and how he didn't pay attention to her and I told her I would never do that to her… Ever.

In the back of my mind in the end I knew that night was going to be the greatest night of my life, I never thought anything would change that. I was wrong, I'm usually wrong about things like this. Here I am laying here in bed, holding in my arms the girl of my dreams, looking at the ring on her finger. A ring that I gave her a month ago, telling her I wanted her to be my bride. There's a puppy in a doggy bed in the other room, sleeping contently because I always want to give her what she wants and she wanted a puppy. And a baby growing inside of her because… well this simple boy might just be dumb…

At my age I know what people say: Stupid kid, you're too young for a family and marriage.

But they don't know a thing about me, this is what I want. This is the girl I want it with and damn it… I'm gonna have it, even if it kills me. And just between you and me journal…

I think it's gonna kill me...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: This chapter was Bo Rotundo, he's currently in a relationship with my friend's (captiandynamite's) OC Haylee Jacobs. He's my very precious muse that I've had for a bit. He's one of the FCW boys that I got creeping around. Also Seth? Yep that is Seth Rollins that I mentioned in there. **


	6. Crap Austin's in Love

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Dear… Piece of Paper?

Why am I writing this? Oh right right, management forced the idea on Hardy and then it forced onto us. Put your thoughts down and maybe you won't fall into the confines of drug addiction. But I'm A Double, I don't have to worry about, all I have to worry about is where Alex runs off to.

I mean seriously, I go to sleep at night, I'm holding the guy in my arms and the next thing I know I wake up Alex-less.

I swear if it wasn't for Gunner and him bringing him back to the hotel room I'd have probably gone off to fuck up a couple of guys by the names of: Jesse and Kiddy Kash. I mean he knows better to go out on his own and leave himself vulnerable to them. How do I know he is vulnerable to them, the open liquor bottle he stupidly left on the table for me to find. I was so pissed off when he came stumbling into the room, drunk as a skunk with a nasty bump on his head, because as Gunner told me…. He ran into a wall… or 20.

Okay so I spent a good 20 minutes, yelling at him about the dangers of wandering around when he's drunk like that. He told me I only cared because he was wearing my clothes, I told him screw the clothes: That made him throw my own clothes at me. So that distracted me from being pissed off, stupid Alex, having to be him. Having to have that body, that adorable face … ugh…

Well here I am, looking at my drunk boy, head on my chest and I think he's drooling. So much for being pissed off at him right?

Crap I think I really am in love.

Aries 1/15/2012


	7. Jack's Promise

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

January 15,2012

Hi there old friend,

Well it has been a long long while since I've written in you. Last time I wrote in you, I confessed to you my love for this amazing guy. His name being Evan, I have a secret to share with you: I fear I'm going to lose him. I've been in this company long enough to see when a guy is getting the shit treatment, especially when it's a guy that the fans love. It happened to me almost two years ago, when I let a silly piece of gold and leather get to my head, I lost everything in a matter of months. When I say I lost everything, literally everything, my father who was billed as Jack Swagger Sr. completely disowned me. Everyone I cared about turned their backs on me and my title run is known as the title run the world will forget.

I thought I lost it all… that was until he came up the hall, smiling that silly smile at me and he said, "Hi Jack.."

Never thought in a million years two words from a small guy like him could lighten up my dark dark world but it did. I fell into despair and him saying hi to me was enough to save me from the dark. It always bother they hell out of me when he'd hook up with guy after guy, but he always made time for me. I never thought I was worthy of his time and attention but he gave it to me.

I love him too much to watch him go through what he is going through now. One mistake and his world falls apart. I don't know what to do for him, but all I know to do is to give him what he gave me. That light that I needed then, I think I will just give it back to him. Not only for tonight but for every other night we will have with each other. Dear Journal, I love Evan Bourne and all I want to do is make sure he never cries again.

Funny how almost 5 years hasn't changed my feelings for him, the only thing that has changed is that he is mine to hold. And I really need to go back to holding him.

Jack.


	8. Bed, Bath and Austin?

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Dear A Double,

Yup that's a better opening to this, I mean come on, I'm writing in a book that no one will ever see why'd I actually acknowledge it and call it a journal or diary?

Anyways on to what happened last night, Alex woke up in the middle of the night, like he always does, taking a freaking bath. He was sad because we had no bubbles for the bath, I swear I think I'm dating a 4 year old. That'd be sick right? Me dating a 4 year old, might as well cart me off to jail for the sexually perverted…

Wait, I am sexually perverted, but not in that way, in the way of the fact that after I had found my boy in the bathtub, and after all the glorious gifts he had for me. Yes! He got me gifts: Bunch of sunglasses, a Leather Jacket with a pink stripe going down it and an iPhone with a case with my initials engraved on the back. It was so awesome! Although…

Along with that other stuff, he told me about he kissed Gunner on the cheek, during his drunk escapade. How he made it back to the room, in one piece after that I will never know. I pretty much made it clear that I didn't care who he kissed on the cheek just as long as I get to hold him in the end. He also happened to share more secrets about his past relationships, made me realize that he is someone else that is far more valuable to me.

Okay so after a while after all that gift giving, and sappy times that normally make me gag… I wanted my boy. Although my boy wanted to tease me, he always wants to tease me. Drives me up the wall, how he always teases me. I found myself chasing him into the bathroom, where he managed to hurt himself falling back into that tub that he loves so very very much. Did I mention he didn't have any clothes on? I don't think I did, but he didn't have any clothes on and I finally got my boy. In the bathtub, literally had him in the bathtub.

I like saying bathtub, I really do like saying bathtub, I think I can say it all day long. Lex is going to want to tape my mouth shut, by the end of the day.

Til next time Austin, it's been a joy talking to you. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived got some very important things to attend to now…

Like getting his boy out of the bathtub and into the bed,.


	9. Hawkins and the Hair

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense**.

Dear Old Friend,

I have written in you for a while, I remember writing in you for the first time, it was because I saw the show Doug and was like "hey I could do that"

Well that isn't my point, my point is to talk about how adorable my girl is. I mean she's so adorable that I talk to her and I feel her adorableness just oozes through the telephone. Last night wasn't any different, I called her last night because I missed her so much, and I just had to share my thoughts with her. What were my thoughts about? Tyler Reks' hair, it just fascinates me so much.

I would talk to Tyler about it, but he's my tag team partner and I prefer not having my face pounded in when I ask, "when was the last time you washed it."

He tends to get very, very touchy when it comes to people asking or talking about his hair. He gets touchy when people touch his hair, well people that aren't upset because their boy got pounded into dust. That's what sparked my thoughts about his hair, watching Trent Baretta play with his hair to keep him from running out to ring side to check on Zack.

So for most of the night on the phone, I shared my thoughts on Reks' hair with Tina, my girlfriend and love of my life, in spite of the fact that after every sentence she'd just reply with a "Curt I have no clue who you are talking about"

And then my response would be, "You know that one guy with the hair."

That went on for about 10 minutes until she distracted me with another story about Aidan. She knows those stories about Aidan shut me up pretty good, if I could just get paid to sit around listening to stories about my boy, I totally would. I love my girl, I love my boy, I love my life right now.

Life is just purely good and now I think I will go call Tina again to see if she's finally figured out who I am talking about. I doubt it … I just like bugging her sometimes.

Til Next Time,

Hawkins

**A/N: I this chapter I mention Tina, that's Curt's girlfriend, she's an OC that belongs to my good friend captaindynamite. She's a fun gal, with a fun little kid and I adore her. **


	10. Look what Zack has

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense**.

Dear Book with Blanket pages,

So much has happened in the last few days of the ultimate broski, me Zack Ryder. I mean, I don't even know where to start really. I guess I should start back in December when I won my US title one the happiest night of my life, my dad was there, all my fans were on fire. Containing myself was completely out of the question. I was on top of the world as of that night. My high continued into the next night, I was used so much, I had lots of fun. Until I found out that all my segments weren't rated too well. And that my time as a champion would be short lived.

Instead of having what I worked so hard for taken away from me so quickly I was put into a bit of a feud with my buddy Jack Swagger. He's a good worker, I love working with him, we've done a lot of good work together. I was one of the people that supported him like crazy when he was a world champion and I thought that he was more above the mid card ranks just like the rest of the guys backstage. All in all in the end I knew who I was losing my title too it was so clear. Weeks continued to progress on and I was stuck in relationship angle with Eve, I was Cena's second banana, and Kane… Well Kane was stalking me. Yup everything that I was doing had nothing to do with me being Champ and in the end made me look very un champion like.

Then it happened one night, I was tossed onto a pile of crates, rendering me injured. My title still intact my back hurting like crazy, I managed to make my way to my boyfriend Trent. I had asked him to drive us back to the hotel knowing he wasn't comfortable with it, but he agreed and I tried my best to keep him calm. I think I kept him too calm because we crashed into a tree, injuring me further.

Expecting to be out for one more week, I went in yesterday for Raw. Upon my arrival, I was told that I had a match and I had no say in the matter. I soon discovered that my opponent had no say either, how did I discover it? When he was in another match that night and … it wasn't pretty. This whole title situation and what is going on here nowadays is just really messed up but at this point I kinda don't mind it at all anymore. I mean in the end I still get to come back to the same hotel room to the same adorable boyfriend that I have. I guess the moral of this entry is …. When you go reaching for what you want, just be grateful for the things you already got. Especially if it is a person, because in the end after all the loss you have and they are still there… you know it's real.

I definitely know its real.

Zack 1/17/2012


	11. Thoughts of a Sick Teddy

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

January 18, 2012

Dear Journal,

Been too, too long since I've written in you, I'm writing in you today because the person I usually run to complain to is busy working. Cody Rhodes is the person I usually go to talk to about everything, unfortunately for me, we now work on the same show and he's a champion on that show. So with me stuck in bed with food poisoning he's off being Cody Rhodes the champion. I begged him to not leave me, literally when it came time for him to go, my arms were tight around his waist and I pulled him close to me and I begged him not to leave. I saw in his face that he didn't want to leave, I saw the distress on his face, he didn't want to leave. Only problem with, looks on the face only do so much, he managed to shake me off and leave me.

I wouldn't do that to Cody, I'd stay with him if he was sick. I'd be all screw work my boy isn't feeling well. I guess I can understand why he left, for a while the company has been harsh on a lot of guys. One of them was suspended, kept his title but when he came back he was the beat down boy in each match up until he got suspended again. Another one was awarded the title, after working and fighting extra hard to have the opportunity, but only to be put into a strange storyline that injured him in the end. He lost the title in a match he was forced to compete in… injured. Needless to say his title was as good as gone. Lastly there is Cody, Cody who works on a show full of men that could compete for the title he currently has but is consistently put in a feud with Booker and forced to have filler bits with Hornswoggle. These bits with Hornswoggle end up with someone running out and helping the little guy: and its usually me or Gabriel. I can't believe that I'm a helping my boy get Hornswoggled.

I know why he's getting Hornswoggled, but unfortunately I can't share that information with him. I wish I could, but if I do just like him I might get punished too. I was punished before and that was during a time me and Cody weren't exactly talking. Cody would attack me, hurt me, and then put a bag over my head because I needed to realize how ugly I really was. Naturally I could feel the anger that Cody was feeling, I mean I had turned my back on him because of a him going to Orton. I never liked Orton, I mean he's not my favorite guy in the world, especially when we had to work with him. He'd always try to get me and Cody to go back to the hotel room for a little fun. I understand that I'm gay and that Orton isn't exactly a guy a normal gay guy would turn down, but making me gay doesn't mean I have no morals. Randy is married, to a woman and has a child, he doesn't need to be going after guys like me or Cody, or anyone for that matter. Why did I blather on about Orton? Because Orton is the direct reason why this is happening to Cody now, apparently Randy wants Cody back but Cody's with me now…

And when Orton doesn't get what he wants he tends to find ways to use the company to get back at the people keeping what he wants away from them. Randy knows it upsets me to hurt Cody or watch Cody get hurt, he also knows a bit about Cody's pride.

I hate knowing this information and I hate being sick and alone, because now I just had to think about all of that… and now I'm even sicker to my stomach. Ugh…I miss my Codes.

Teddy Bear.


	12. Christian's ToDo List

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of** **sense.**

Being the "Best Friend" of a Hall of Fame inductee is hard, very hard work. I mean I don't know how other people in the past years have done it. Well I guess other people in the past years, also didn't have to keep it from fans that you aren't really just his best friend, you are also his lover. Also I suppose that they didn't have to keep from the fans that their younger sister is married to and pregnant with the child of a TNA superstar. Still all of this is hard work, usually I am good with my words and such but looking at this piece of paper I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to get this all done by the time I need to get it all done. I actually never thought that when I became a wrestler writing speeches were going to be necessary, whoops guess I was wrong.

Well actually I wasn't really "wrong" I just didn't have that ability to peer into the future and see what type of career Adam was going to have. I mean back when we debuted we joked about being the show stealers at WrestleMania, we joked about how one day one of us would be one the most controversial guys in the company, we joked about us winning world titles. Little did we know then all the things we joked about would actually come true. The things we achieved were all things that we "joked" about. It was pretty funny, I guess they did have our locker room tapped and they were getting secret information about us. Those sneaky bastards we work for, they made our career, yes.. but it was still sneaky and they are all still bastard.

Now I got a full schedule, gotta go to the doctor later to get my ankle checked on, gotta call Cody to check up on her because I think her boy has already gone over seas, and … I gotta finish this stupid speech. All because they want to approve of what I have to say, they should know by now when it comes to Adam, or Edge as they insist on calling him in and out of the ring, my thoughts and feeling can't all be bound onto a piece of paper that I write. When I get up there, everything I say won't be something I've written down it will be whatever I feel in my heart. So… There might be a whole lot of I love yous and hugs, and they will like it because…

I'm Jason Reso, He's my best friend, my confidant for more years than most of the talent has been alive… and I love him, forever.

January 18, 2012

**A/N: I know it doesn't say that Christian will be featured in this fic, it also says that neither was Austin but guess what they are featured. There will be more to come in the next few days. Thanks. **


	13. Husky's A Good Brother

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Dear Journal,

From day one I've been my brother's keeper, I was always the one that stood by his side every time he did something that people would normally get pissed off about. Today is no different from any other day, except this time around I am accepting the responsibility of keeping him safe from his fiancée's father. When she had invited me done to talk about something, my only thought that it wasn't anything good about Bo. I mean they had recently decided upon marriage, my brother proposing on her birthday and everything. That's how Bo's been he never does anything simple or small when it comes to the lady he loves, it's gotta be big.

So as I walked down to the restaurant and saw her sitting at the table eating her ice cream my only thought was what Bo did now. She assured me that it was nothing bad, but I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like the news at all. I asked if they had actually called off the wedding, she assured me that wasn't what happened. I dunno if she noticed the sigh of relief that came from me and then when she told me they had moved the date up, my only thought was Bo lost his mind, moving the day up because of course I naturally think it's because he was finally cleared to wrestle again. Nope that wasn't it, but I sure as well was close. Well I thought I was close, journal you might think that I was totally and completely off but I think I was close.

Haylee finally decided to put an end to the guessing game and tell me that she was pregnant. I had to ask her to repeat herself because you see I have an issue with hearing about Bo's sex life. Actually in that case it's the first time I heard about it, aside from all those nights that Haylee had stayed with me and Bo. I don't think that counts but in this case, here she was sitting in front of me telling me that she has a baby on the way. I'm gonna be an uncle, I'll admit I was a bit shocked and I kinda gave her a mini lecture about how condoms are helpful things sometimes. Of course she tells me that they wanted it, I mean I kinda figured, Bo wouldn't do something that stupid if he didn't want to accept the consequences of his actions.

Apparently , Haylee is gonna tell her daddy soon about the big news and Bo… Well I think we all know Bo is as good as a dead man so that is where my role as my Brother's Keeper comes into play. It's been a long, long time since I had to protect Bo from an Angry Daddy. Only problem I got is Angry Daddy is a Scary Daddy and I think if I don't do this whole protecting thing right, we're both dead.

Windham Rotunda aka Husky Harris

January 19, 2012


	14. Jeremy  Big Brother Knows Best

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Dear Journal,

My name is Jeremy Buck, I will always be that guy and I will always love this one guy that I like to call Reddy, no matter how many buttons that he finds to push. He's good at finding those buttons to push, I don't know how but every time he finds them. Each time he does, in the end I can't help but to forgive him, I guess that is what they call love. I mean if I didn't love him I wouldn't be so quick to forgive him right? What am I doing asking a book something like this? I would ask my brother but I don't want to let him know the things that me and Reddy have been going through lately. Especially, since he warned me that having a kid was going to put a great strain on both of us and our work. I didn't exactly believe my big brother on that one, I mean of course it's a great strain on him, his baby Is a new born, Jess is 3. She doesn't need all that much attention, I could totally handle it.

Ha! I was totally wrong about that. I mean I love Jess, don't get me wrong, she looks like a spitting image of both me and Reddy. Her personality is totally Reddy's strong willed and hyper as all hell, but then she's got my smarts. I know she's got my smarts, I mean this girl is sharp as a damn tack, no one has to tell her that something is wrong, she just knows. Although I think we are putting this little one through way too much, I mean since she became a part of this family, me and Reddy have been having a lot of issues. I'm doing my best to be a good father and a good boyfriend or fiancée like person, all at once. Both Reddy and Jess need and want my attention for most of the day, and it's hard to keep up with both.

I mean Reddy usually wakes up super early to take care of Jess, clean her up, cook her breakfast and have play time with her, then he's got to go off to work. Once he goes off to work, it's my turn to take care of the girl, unfortunately I get her when she's still yelling and screaming and crying because Reddy Daddy has gone off to work. For some reason when people aren't watching her, she's got an issue with being alone with either one of us. It's either we are together or one of us is taking her out. So I take the girl out to the park, she calms down and by the time I get back, Reddy's home. Reddy is usually super tired when we get home so our time alone is just cut super, super short. I put Jess down for her nap and I usually sneak into the bed and cuddle up next to Reddy.

This had been going on for a month or so and I thought Reddy was okay with the routine, but something changed. This change that happened I don't think I like it too much, Reddy slowly started getting more distant and more upset with the routine that we had with Jess. His demeanor just went from this care free attitude to very, very angry. The anger was mostly focused on me, telling me that I had been ignoring him in favor of our daughter. I didn't let that bother me, I mean I started to look for ways to get this whole attention competition put to an end. One of my ideas was getting her enrolled into pre-k. I thought it was a good idea, so I just went ahead with it. The day I was going to take Jess to the school, I thought why not borrow something of Reddy's, he's got nicer things than me. So I went looking in a drawer and found a small flask, opening it up and the strong scent of alcohol hit me.

After everything we had been through before, it hit me like a ton of bricks where his new demeanor had come from. This horrendous attitude, I kept it to myself and went about my plan to go to the school and meet with the operator of the school about getting her in. Jess loved the school from the get go, I think the little one got overstimulated because when it came time to go home, she didn't want to go.

We got home and I attempted to tell Reddy about the school, but he wasn't having it. He was just so not caring about the school about how it would give us more time together. Nothing he didn't' want to hear it. I got mad went off on him, went to the room saw he made an attempt at caring, until he ran off. Jess came to tell me daddy just left so I went after him. We wound up having a fight, I'm surprised that today, that we haven't gotten a visit from the social worker about how safe it is for Jess to be here.

I confronted him about everything including the flask I had found, he denied it at first but soon enough admitted to it. He admitted everything to me. How he feels neglected and ignored even though I am making my attempts. I'm so grateful that he never put Jess in a dangerous position but I just wish he would have talked to me first rather than going down that path that I saved him from before.

So when Max warned me about the strains of being a parent…. He was right, this is tough. Although I think I can get through it, while guiding my boy down the right path. I learned a valuable lesson though: Always listen to your big brother.

1/21/12 - Jer


	15. Caleb's Thoughts on a Long Flight

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Hey Journal,

It's me again, Caleb. Right now I'm looking out the window of the airplane I'm currently on. En Route to England for the company's big UK tour, initially it was supposed to be something that was so much greater than what it is now. Although in time and in this company you learn things change, a whole lot. Speaking of change and stuff, there is a lot of change going on in my life. It's almost sickening. I have to get used to a lot of things that I don't know if I can actually get used to them. I'm just getting too stressed out over it all.

I don't know where or how I started feeling all the stress that hit me. I don't want to blame it on Frankie either, I mean he isn't exactly helping me from getting completely stressed out, but it isn't exactly his fault. I mean can he really control what people do or how they feel about him, no he can't. Although he can control how much time he spends with them. He gets so mad at me if I mention or even look at my ex, Angelina. His jealousy even goes down to the nickname that I gave her almost 3 years ago, Ange. I hate calling her Angelina and yet he constantly insists that I call her Angelina. In the back of my mind I still can hear that argument that I had with him over me even worrying about her. I will always worry about her, I mean she cheated on me, played me numerous times, but I loved her. I loved her unconditionally and when we broke up, I knew that we weren't right for each other. There was no hatred there and I only hoped that she would find a man that would give her what she needed. She needed security, a man who would love her and not substances that would eventually take over his entire life. Well she moved on to a man that I pretty much consider scum, numerous times I'd seen him I just wanted to shove my fist down his throat. I told Frankie all about these emotions and thoughts that I had pertaining to that, he instantly thought that I still loved her. He was right, I did still love her, I still do love her, but not the romantic type of love that would ruin what I have with him. That was just one of the many things that we would argue about.

Other things we'd argue about are just so trivial and pointless I don't even know what sets them off. We get into way too many of them, it just makes the 3 months that I have been with him feel like forever. They also push me to things that I just don't want to get pushed to again. Journal, I'm sorry to tell you but the pills and alcohol are really starting to look tempting again to me. Between work and being in a relationship like this, I don't know how much longer I can stay sober. I love Frankie, I just want it to stop, I want all of it to stop. I like having control of things, I like stability, but if things continue like the way that things are going…

I might fall again. I might let everyone I love and care about down. How do I tell this to him? I'm scared… for the first time in my life, I'm honestly scared of the path I'm going down.

Caleb Roode 1/22/12


	16. Cody misses Crimson

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Dear Diary like thing

I should be sleeping, if Tommy knew that I was up for almost 2 days in a row with no sleep he'd probably yell at me. I haven't slept one wink since last night, I attempted to sleep, but I woke up in a fit. I cried my eyes out, I snuggled up close to him and begged him not to leave. Literally I begged him, he just looked at him with a sad face and shook his head. He told me it was going to be long and that I should try to sleep. I tried but I just couldn't his hand on my back rubbing at it slowly, he always knew he could get me to pass out easily with that but tonight it wasn't happening.

He woke up in the morning and bit his lip and kissed the top of my head, told me he was going to be back. We packed up the car and he took me over to Miss Karen's house. I was greeted by the biggest hug, she just saw the sadness. She understood the sadness that I was going through. Her words were so reassuring, as she walked me up to the room. She told me that I need to sleep. I tried again, but I couldn't. I woke up again, crying. I'm a mess and I miss him so much.

I want to blame the hormones but I can't. It's not hormones, it's me. For once I, Cody Reso, found a guy who I love so much. I found a guy who I trust with my heart, my soul, my life. I found a guy that I hate not being around. I guess that is why I married him and let him get me pregnant.

Blah Stupid Tommy Mercer, I love him too much.

Cody.


	17. Bobby the Selfish

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

I've never been the type to write down my thoughts, I've never been the type who'd be willing to talk about them. I usually keep them to myself, I think it's what could be called the Roode curse. My younger brother seems to have the same issue with really expressing himself. So when he came back from rehab with a small black book and explained to me that he wanted me to do it too, I agreed. It's the things you do for the people you love.

Speaking of doing things for the people you love, another person I'd jump through hoops for is James. James and I have been through so much, especially with how we started out. James left his pregnant fiancée for me, I ultimately felt bad that he did that, but I finally had him. I knew it wasn't a good idea in the long run, I knew in the end there was going to be a complication thrown into the mix for me getting together with a guy with a kid. I know I really shouldn't be selfish bastard with James, but damn it took a lot of work to get him to be with me. I wanted him since we started working together as a team, I don't need her sending him messages that she wants him to take the kid for a month. I mean I can handle a couple of days, or a couple of hours out of the day, but an entire month is just too much. I watch the news, I see what some women do when they drop the kids off with someone for too long.

I know I really shouldn't think the worst about her, but I don't get that much time with James. I don't need more things getting in between us. The company is doing their part by keeping us apart, or getting between us. They started doing it when we got together. I guess that is what happens when you break the heart of the boss man's baby sister. So, now I'm here in Europe with him on top of me like he likes to be, my phone is somewhere underneath us, I feel it, thinking about how selfish I can be.

But… I guess I gotta share my man … with a one year old.

I'm Bobby Roode and I'm a selfish bastard.


	18. Gunner's Big Mistake

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Dear Journal

I don't exactly turn to you for a lot of things, I've kept you for almost 29 years and all that is collected in here are my thoughts about the next hot chick I've turned my sights on. Last entry was almost 3 years ago and that was about my girl Sierra. Anyways, no journal, I haven't moved on from Sierra, in fact the fire that I felt the first moment I met her is still there. This is more about what has happened to me on my first overseas job since I was in the Marines. For once it's not military work, it's actually doing something that I love. Wrestling.

One thing that I don't love about this, is how some guys are a little overly sappy about the ladies they left behind in the U.s. One person in particular who is being extra overly sappy about it, is my good friend Crimson. You see me and Crimson bonded when he first got to TNA, because he, like myself was a veteran from the U.S military, also like myself he served overseas. We'd swap stories when we went to the gym, messed with each other, you know all that normal stuff that someone who just got a new buddy got. This new buddy of mine was far, far better than the old crew I hung out with … the Hardys. It was rather nice that I made an actual stable friend for once.

At some point us hanging out became less and less, we both started getting less time on screen and less time being on the house show circuit. I never really questioned why Crimson got less time, I just thought it was natural, me on the other hand I had some personal issues with my girlfriend's dad. Still do got those issues. As for Crimson his lessening time, it was a direct result of what was going on in his personal life. Got married, girl's pregnant, he needs time for her type of stuff. When all of this was happening for the poor guy, he was put into a tag team with quite possibly one of the most least sensitive people on the entire roster, Matt Morgan.

Poor guy was getting frozen, forced to go to sleep early, almost share showers with him and lastly not allowed to simply TEXT not call TEXT his pregnant wife back home. In Crimson's shoes I wouldn't have been so nice to Matt, I would have almost ripped his head off, but I'm not Crimson, I'm Gunner. Anyways me being the good friend I am, with Sierra off with daddy on a family emergency I told him that he could bunk with me for this week.

Uhhh

Big mistake…

Ever since he's gotten to the room, he's texted Cody, with little or no response. I told him that she might be sleeping finally or doing stuff to make the missing seem not bad. He accepted that, he accepted even more when he'd get a message back from her telling him why she didn't text back quick, what she was going to be doing for the day and the ever important I love and miss you too. I thought he'd be okay with that, but nope after those messages came in, I was given the "I miss Cody" speeches as I like to call them.

I think I've heard about 5,000 different versions of the speech, ranging from many different things that this girl does for him. With how highly he talks about her, I feel like I'm married to her, it's insane.

So as you can imagine journal, I got annoyed with the speeches and I had two options: One put the brute out of his misery and give him a one way ticket home ( concussion) or take him on a guy's night out. Me being me, I chose the guys night out, because it's not too nice to put your buddies head through concrete.

Once again I think I've made a terrible mistake, since before he passed out he had his cell phone in hand and it looked like he was texting. Who he was texting exactly, I can only venture a guess. What he was texting could be just about anything. Hopefully if it was Cody, he left my name completely out of those text messages, because honestly I've been around pregnant women. I've been around pissed off scorned pregnant women, it's not fun.

Gunner

1/24/12


	19. Zack's Bad Luck

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Dear Journal,

Today it's a bit of a chore to actually be writing in you, I really shouldn't be, but I have a lot of things that I need to talk about. I mean recently I've been going through quite a bout of bad luck lately, in my career and what seems to be my personal life. As you know journal I'm currently dating fellow wrestler Trent Baretta. He's my kitten and I love him to death, but lately I've been put in these predicaments where I just keep getting hurt, worse and worse. Two weeks ago I was in an altercation with Kane, leading me to be choke slammed on a pile of strategically placed crates. Talk about how bro, following that back pain inducing spot, I had asked my boyfriend to drive us back to the hotel. Like I said that was just a bad idea all on itself. Trent managed to get us into a car accident, I found myself not only with a back injury, rib injury, and I also found myself with a serious head injury. Seriously, bro, I'm serious.

Anyways I thought that week was bad, until I got to the following week. I would think that because of my back, ribs and head I wouldn't have to wrestle. Unfortunately I don't work for the most sympathetic company when it comes to injuries you access on your own time apparently. So last week I was stuck in a match with Jack Swagger for my US title, that didn't go so well. I got my ass handed to me and my title taken away, wrapped around the waist of one lisping douchebag by association. I don't hate Jack, I don't blame Jack, but he knew and he could have said, uhhhh no? Honestly I think WWE did the usual, don't do this we're firing you deal, because he's dating Evan and Evan isn't exactly on steady ground. So it's safe to assume Jack and "no" aren't gonna be getting along too well for the next two months.

Moving on to what happened to me THIS week, and this week is the worst week that I've hand in years. I was anticipating getting used this week, I was hoping that it was going to be my title match… Yea hoping, gets you choke slammed again, this time though a stage. Hoping also gets you a stupid bitch who can't act yelling at you "ARE YOU OKAY!" like she actually cares if you are okay or not. Hoping gets you a depressed boyfriend because all the things you do on a nightly basis come so far and in between. Lastly hoping gets you an interesting rivalry between the stupid bitch and your kitten because the stupid bitch comes to visit me, first helps me out but then starts trying to sexually assault me right in my bed.

I understand why kitten was so upset by it, I wouldn't want to come back to the room and find some person all over him. Coming back from losing to Heath Slater and eating an RKO from Randy Orton; basically a shitty day at work. Coming back to that, I would want to kill someone, but that is just me. I don't know what was going through his mind at the moment, but I know it wasn't anything good.

He was upset that he was hurt, I was hurt and there just wasn't much that I could do for him. I know exactly what he looks for after those rough days at work, and I want to give him those things. Just for the time being I can't. I hate this terrible luck that I'm having. It's just screwing everything up all at once, my career, my love life, everything. I hope my luck changes sometime soon, maybe when I take the kitten on vacation it will be completely different..

Maybe

Zacky


	20. Reflect and Save Him, Jack

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

January 28, 2012

It's a day before the big Rumble day, the day that almost every guy on the roster looks forward to because they are taking part in a match that could make their entire career, the Royal Rumble. This should be a very happy occasion for me but I cannot bring myself to smile at the fact that this day is upon us finally. There's just a thought nagging in my mind that I just cannot seem to shake at all. The thought is about my boyfriend Evan. I love him so much, but recently he has run into a lot of trouble with the company pertaining to a lot of personal issues that he is going through at the moment. I love him very much and instead of focusing on the match that is upon me, my thoughts circle around him. I want to do what I can for him to protect him and save him.

A couple of nights ago I had gone to head back home to our house in Tampa, well it's actually my home in Tampa and I let Evan stay with me. He has his own house but I don't want to be alone at night and I don't want him to be alone at night, so I call him he stays the night. I'm really considering just having him move in with me. Anyways I'm deviating from my point at hand here, my point is… I had gone home to find that Evan wasn't there. I figured that he was at his home which wasn't too far from my place. Literal walking distance between point A and point B, well I had gone over there thinking that he was there. To my dismay he was not there as well. My thoughts at that point ran a mile a minute. Evan was known for doing things like this, he's known for up and leaving his lovers for a better person. He did it with his last boyfriend and came to me.

I shouldn't have thought that at all, but as I said it was what he was known for. Another reason my thoughts wander there was because a lot of his old friends were getting jobs with the company. What exactly is there to stop him from leaving me for them? I mean I was at a show the other day, I've met then and they are really good guys that really genuinely care about Evan. They love Evan and when I talk to Evan about them, he never has anything bad to say about them at all.

After a good while of panicking I went and decided to call one of his friends. I don't why I decided to call a friend, maybe it was because I thought he was going to be there with him. So I decided to get on the line with the guy that is known as Antonio in our company. Initially my thought was that Evan ran off with this guy, because they were close and Evan seems to like the guy a lot. After talking with him, I found another thing Evan does when things get rough. He runs, not to another guy but back to his family.

Antonio filled me in on a lot of the habits and things Evan used to do when he was younger. Antonio assisted me in understanding that when things got too much he runs back to his parents.

His parents live in St. Louis, I never really met them until last night, and I found that they were really sweet people. I was shocked when they answered to door and asked me if I was Evan's boyfriend. For me that question came as a shock I didn't think that Evan would have discussed me with them, and found that he really didn't, they just knew that there son was gay. When I told him I was indeed his boyfriend they gave me questioning looks, perhaps meaning they were expecting something different or that boyfriends had changed on them. Later on found out that they had met one of Evan's boyfriend's before today.

So now I am laying here, not pumping up for a big match, holding my darling boyfriend in my arms hoping to God that when he wakes up that feeling that he is going to lose me is gone. I don't like hearing him cry and be upset over the thought of me not being here for him when he needs me. I will always be here for Evan. Nothing will ever change that ..

Not even some stupid company.

Jack.


	21. Teddy and the Rumble

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

Sitting here all I can think is that things always happen as a reason, I mean my hand being broken was definitely something that happened for a reason. I mean especially after I had been in couple of Royal Rumbles, before this year, but this year is different very different. With me laid up in this bed, having to watch my best friend going strong in the rumble. In the back of my mind, I only saw how me and Cody worked together to stay in as long as I could. I clearly remember looking over at Cody, smirking slightly at his antics to stay in the ring, or how we'd get booed out the building or have little to no reaction from the fans. It was something that we had gotten used to, but now I am looking at this year's Rumble.

I sat up the moment that Cody's music hit; I heard the fans literally go wild. It was insane my boy was getting a reaction. My boy had gone so far in the past few years, and I get to watch it with my very eyes. I wish that I wasn't laying here just watching, I wish that I was in the ring with him, enjoying what we love to second best in the entire world. Alas, last week I took a move the wrong way and I broke my wrist. It was at the hands of Cody, but I don't blame him at all. Mostly my fault, not paying attention, more focused on the fact that I was in yet another match with Cody. A match that I'd rather not have at all, but I have it because I love to wrestle.

I sorta wish that Cody could have lasted just a bit longer in the rumble, proving that he ultimately did stand a chance against all the big guys there. Especially Randy, especially after the hell Randy had put us through, keeping us apart for so long. It was good to see Cody, get some sweet retribution against him, I don't think I cheered louder for anyone else, the way I cheered for Cody. I suppose that is why I got him that giant basket of sweets for him to enjoy when he gets back to the hotel room. I was caught between sweets and stuffed animals, but I know he's gonna tell me that there is only one Teddy Bear that he wants and needs and I know he's gonna say that Teddy bear is me.

He's my Cody and I think he deserves the world given to him on a silver platter…

But for now until he gets back, I think I'm just gonna enjoy the other rumbles that we have been in together… since I just like reliving the good times that we've had in our career. He'll be here soon.

Teddy- Jan 29, 2012


	22. Chris and the Memoryless Girlfriend

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

January 31, 2012

So, It's been ages since I actually wrote down my thoughts on a piece of paper, I didn't even think anyone still kept journals. In fact it was a surprise when I had gone down to the gift shop in the hospital Jade was staying at and saw that they had this tiny book on sale. Anyways on to what I have or need to say. As I said Jade, my girlfriend is laid up in a hospital bed, after getting herself into a car accident. Initially when I heard about it, I panicked slightly and then thought in the back of my head it might not be as bad as I thought.

When I arrived at the hospital that night I was there to be stood corrected. When I walked into the hospital room, the look of worry and confusion on her face when she looked at me alarmed me. I barely was able to accept the question that she had for me when I walked up to her and asked how she was doing, the simple, "I'm sorry who are you?" Broke my heart straight in two.

My mind raced as the question crossed her lips as I looked up at the doctor who wasn't willing to tell me what was going on with my girlfriend. So I sat there looking at the girl who stole my heart as she just looked at me confused as all hell. I admit my first time dealing with her wasn't as ideal I mean I introduced myself like I was introducing myself to a new guy in a total heel promo. My shocked that she didn't remember me was that great that I couldn't even control my emotions that I had in my body.

I could tell that had upset her so I left in the same hurry that I had showed up in, content on trying all over again the next day. The next day I went in there wary of the reaction that I would get from her again. Although this time around someone had the heart to tell me what was going on, in the accident she had hit her head pretty hard, triggering a bad case of amnesia so she didn't remember every about her life. She couldn't remember her own name, her family, what she did last week, nothing all of those things were blanks for her. This time in the hospital room I took a more calm approach, I didn't flip out at all. I sat by her bed, talking to her about seemingly nothing. I told her that I was her boyfriend I told her about her Brother James ( Storm) and his boyfriend Robert. I filled her in on Caleb who is also one of her close friends and boss. I also threw in the bit about me being her boyfriend, somehow she accepted that pretty readily.

Somehow little bits I guess jogged something in her memory as she confessed to me that she remembered something. Even though she claimed that it was nothing I insisted that she tell me because when it comes to this, any and all memories are good things. I sat there as she confessed that she was on a plane ride to Europe on her own, and she didn't understand why since I was her boyfriend. I told her a bit about the tour and what had happened, why I wasn't on the plane ride to Europe with her. We talked for a few more moments until she requested for me to get into the bed and cuddle with her. I honestly could say that I was actually wary of getting into the bed with her to hold her because I wasn't sure that she believed me when I said that I was her boyfriend.

Ultimately she did, but I don't know what else is going to come our way, I wonder how much she is going to remember or if she will remember everything at all.

Oh well… It's going to a long ride for the both of us… but we will get through it.

Christopher Daniels.

**AN: Well in this chapter I mention a Jade. That is my friend's OC Jayden Black, who is the younger sister to James Storm. She belongs to captiandynamite and with all her awesomeness she allowed me to use her for this. **


	23. Cody and the Funniness of Life

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

February 4, 2012

You know this place is a very familiar place, I think I like this place a whole lot. It's the place I go to with Tommy when we are having problems. It's so comfortable, with the sheets that I had picked out when I moved in with him. The walls are very comforting and his big strong arms around me, and his head inches from mine resting lightly on my shoulder. I'm not saying that we've fought lately or had kind of issue as of late, but I still love this place. I think I totally made us sound like a couple of sex crazed teenagers nothing like a couple that had gotten married recently, but I really don't care.

All that I'm doing is just thinking back to a lot of the fights that we have had; me running off, me bring up an ex, blah, blah, blah. So my mission today is just to keep my boy in bed with me all day and night long, just to avoid a fight with him because well it's the birthday to a guy who took one of the most important things from me. I figure if we stay in bed, we could avoid the fight and I could keep my temptation to call him at a very small minimum.

Today is one of those days where we'd wind up fighting since it is that one guy's birthday. The guy I am talking about is no other than Chris Sabin, who a couple of years back took advantage of my love for his best friend. When I was younger I had a bad, really bad thing for Alex Shelley. I'd go after him and I'd get constantly rejected by him, or he'd just give me kisses on the cheek and tell me that I was one of the best friends that he could ask for. To be honest, Alex is the reason why I'm so into photography the way I am, he taught me how to use a camera. While he used to be very into making short films, he also let me in on what photography entailed. He even went as far as to giving me my first camera, and taught me how to develop photos as well. In his teaching me, I found myself falling in love with the guy, because on the outside he was just this guy who never took anything seriously at all but when he was talking about photography and art he was intense and serious. I don't think many people see that side to Alex; in all honesty I think I'm one of the few people that got to see it.

From that day I was dead set that I was in love with the guy so from the ages of 16 to 21, 21 being the age that I met Tommy, all I wanted was to be with him. One evening I couldn't take it, I broke down at another failed attempt. He merely kissed my cheek and told me that he would talk to me later, I snapped smacked him and ran off. Moments later, I found myself being comforted by Chris, and seemingly being taken advantage of by the guy. He basically told me all the things that I had wanted to hear. My heart hurt on that night so I couldn't control what was doing. The next morning he was still there but he left eventually and I hardly heard from him again. I'd see him around, I'd go try to talk to him and he'd walk away, and even at that when I went to go talk to Alex, Alex paid me no mind. I could understand why, I mean I had slapped him.

It took a while to realize what Sabin had done, and I eventually learned to hate the guy, and I took the time to repair the relationship I had with Alex. Alex and I went back to a pair of artsy folks connecting on the level that we had connected on before, even got to the point that I introduced him to my best friend. Not my brightest of moves, my best friend at the time was very sex oriented; and very into Alex the moment she laid her eyes on him. Didn't even attempt to get to know him or anything, just wanted him in her bed. I did my best to pretend like I didn't care, that I was happy with the friendship status I had with him, but let's face it I was young and Alex was the guy I wanted. I was sickened when I watched them run off with each other, even more sickened by the fact that Alex basically lost any and all interest with talking to me about photography. Our connection slipped away and I slowly started to hate her, mostly because I saw the light in him dim. I noticed how much more tired he had gotten, he had no time for what he loved. I'd try to talk to him about photography and we'd get cut off by her just showing up or her calling during the times I said I was going to see him. Eventually, Alex had no time me or let alone anyone else, it was all about her. Again I lost him.

Moving on into the years, I hooked up with him once, just once in my best friend's home. I guess I just got tired of getting rejected by him, but I kept getting rejected because I didn't out right tell him how I felt or show him actually. It happened with a kiss the probably shouldn't have happened and then he told me that he had been sleeping with her while I was helping her move in. I flipped out on him; he didn't like it and locked him in the guest room where my clothes were in. My mission one night was to go out and forget my friend, him, everything have a meaningless fling and he stopped me the only way he could think of, and that was the one night we hooked up.

After that day, everything was a mess: A total mess.

Me and Alex lost contact, I stuck by my best friend's side, and attempted at moving on. Trying to turn him and my entire relationship into a thing of the past and attempting to convince myself that I no longer wanted him in my life. That was something that I couldn't actually do, but… that one guy whose arms I'm contently snuggled up in right now, showed me that there was something better for me out there. We don't have much in common, but he understands me. He makes me feel safe, he gives me what I want and need. I mean how many men would really turn the basement that could be used as their man zone into my own personal dark room? Not many. How many guys would actually go out of their way to give you a vacation that you've only dreamed of? Not many. He didn't take long to make me realize that what I had with Alex before was all that I needed.

Me and Alex are back to being friends, and Alex had dropped both my best friend and that damn man as a lover. He gained a new lover, a nicer lover in spite of that cocky attitude that he has, one that allows me to spend as much time with him. My Tommy never seems to have issue when I say that I'm gonna talk to Alex or see him.

I love how my life is right now. I love that I have my favorite man and I love that my favorite man has no issue with me talking to my second man at times. I'm happy and I want to stay this way.

-Cody


	24. Kenny on Feelings

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

February 6, 2012

I don't usually do this whole writing in books deal, this is why I have a twitter, I can put my thoughts there. Although these thoughts I probably shouldn't be putting all over twitter, mainly because no one knows a fact about me. I, Ken Anderson, am in love with a guy. In love with a guy I didn't anticipate being in love with. A man I wouldn't be anticipating saying in this here book. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't think I was in love with him before, but as time progressed on I think I found myself falling in love with him. For the past few months all I felt was just the fact that we were a meaningless fling. I'd go to him when I wanted a good time, hiding out in his little booth messing with him, getting under his table distracting him from what he was supposed to do.

I was just having fun, nothing more than fun. Or so I thought it was nothing more than just meaningless fun. I barely remember the night that I had gotten together with Ry, I was just so drunk, thinking that I was in love with one Jeff Hardy. Our first night together was a flurry of beer, flying clothes and fists. It was a violent first time, there was pain and a mix of some blood, but it was fun. It was better than anyone that I had been with before that day. The next morning was awkward to say the least, looking at each other trying to remember what happened. When we realized what had happened we were okay with it. So okay with it, that we just continued on with our relationship.

I don't think I ever told Ry that I loved him, I don't even remember if I had told him that I loved him. Not even when he got hurt, not even when his father would come along and take him away to wherever. Funny I've never told Ry that I loved him but yet I have him in my house as one of those permanent house guests. Okay well not a permanent house guest but as a live in boyfriend. Although I never told him that I loved him.

I don't know why I haven't told him those words; I guess I want him to remember me saying that I love him. I mean each time we get intimate one of us is drunk. The words want to come out, I feel that they want to come out, I mean each time I go to say them I bite back on my lip. I don't know, is it that I want him to remember it? Or is it that I'm afraid that he won't feel the same way? Will he say it back? Perhaps it's a mix of everything that is making it difficult to tell him.

It's like last night, I know he didn't want to watch the game with me, but I made him watch it with me. He could have very easily told me to go fuck myself in his Ry fashion but he didn't. He sat there with me, holding his hand out for beer after beer, glaring at the tv and glancing over at me giving me that "Only for you" look that he tends to give me when he doesn't want to do something. I admittedly love it when he gives me that look; it's one of those looks that you get only from someone when you really matter to them.

Yea I know he gives me that look and I'm worried that he doesn't love me back, but you can't really blame me. I've been hurt before, I've been there, done that and I don't want to do it again. I just don't want to do it again. When I tell someone that I love them, I want them to tell it back to me, and not be drunk and just mean it. I know I sounded like a girl there and I know I'm Mr. Asshole, the one who really shouldn't give a flying fuck about "feelings". Although they are my feelings and I want them to be taken note of.

So now I am laying here, thinking back to last night, about how I pushed him away when he said that he wanted me to take advantage of him. He drunkenly said that he wanted me to take advantage of him, DRUNKENLY. Am I really getting tired of that? No … I'm just wondering when the right time to tell him that I love him. That's not so wrong is it?

-Ken Anderson.


	25. Caleb and his scheme

**Disclaimer: This here is a work of fiction. Yes these are journal entries from superstars and knockouts but it no way reflects anything that is real.**

**Who will be featured in this fic: Cody Reso (OC), Caleb Roode(OC), Joey LoMonaco(OC), Richie Steamboat (FCW), Bo Rotundo (FCW), Husky Harris (FCW/WWE), Angelina Love (TNA), Christopher Daniels (TNA), Zack Ryder(WWE), Curt Hawkins (WWE), Jack Swagger (WWE), Ted DiBiase ( WWE), Jeremy Buck (ROH), Gunner (TNA) and Ken Anderson (TNA). It's a very odd bunch don't worry it will make a lot of sense.**

February 9, 2012

Here I am again, really think that I am getting more and more used to actually writing in one of these, especially when I feel a drink or a pill or something is necessary and last night was one of those nights when I thought it would have been. Even though the day went perfectly well, I had noticed that Frankie has been having a hard time sleeping, waking up repeatedly in the middle of the night, drenched in a cold sweat, breathing heavy all after mumbling AJs name in his sleep. This had been going on for the past few weeks with him in a feud with AJ currently, so I decided last night would be the night that I confront him about it. I know it wasn't the best of moves but I had to do it:

I had stayed up the entire night watching over Frankie, looking up deals on hotel rooms that I could possibly stay in for the night because I knew that Frankie wasn't going to like a thing that I was going to be doing for the night. I didn't hold him, I didn't comfort him and I didn't try to wake him up when the dream got to be too much for him. I let him think that he was in bed on his own, giving him the chance to slip up and scream something in his sleep. In a very natural Frankie Kazarian way he did, it like how that song goes, "I hear the secrets that you keep, while you're talking in your sleep," I heard a few secrets that night. When woke up I was there, not happy at all with what I had heard, but I heard it and it was my turn to confront him on it. He denied that he loved AJ, every time I asked, I compared his feelings to being and addict and he would never get over them if he keeps denying them. He continually denied them too me, until I kept pushing it and pushing to the point that he blamed a lot of our issues on my issues. I know I'm not perfect but I also know that it's not completely my fault that our relationship isn't perfect.

I got to Frankie's, breaking point and everything came out like a dam that had just burst. He admitted all the feelings to me, that he still loved AJ not as much as he loved me but he still loved him all the less. In his voice I could hear the guilt that he had been holding about it as clear as day. In the back of my mind I knew why he was having the nightmares and why he was having the doubts, and I just want them to stop. The nightmares have nothing to do with him still loving AJ, it has to do with the fact that Frankie's, conscience was telling him that he was doing wrong by not telling me, even though he knows that all I want to do is help him. I am going to help him, I am going to show him why I am the only man in his life that should matter. He did his best to help me stop loving Ange and I am going to do what I can to help him stop loving AJ. I want to be the only man or person that is on his mind by Sunday night.

I know he had mentioned that he knows what will set him off come Sunday night, but I didn't really inquire about it, I don't need to inquire about it, I know that come Sunday he will be completely mine. I won't have to share him with anyone, we won't be stuck with having these damn fights all the time, and the damn temptation for a drink or drugs will go away. I mean the desire and temptation for those items will still be there when things get too stressful, but it won't be as strong as it was before. I have my Frankie and in the same way I am going to make things better for him, he will make everything all better for me.

Caleb.


End file.
